Monday, June 20, 2016

MY BOSS IS BOND … JAMES BOND

Bond … James Bond. That’s how my boss first introduced himself to me. Really. I’m not kidding you. His name is James Bond and that’s how I first met him when I interviewed at my company just over a year ago. Of course he goes by the name of Jim—and as you would guess, he’s not a double agent. He’s not very suave and sophisticated. As far as I know, he doesn’t have any noticeable ass-kicking skills. But he does have something that the fictional James Bond has: an app to get someone elses text messages.

Yes, Jim Bond, Regional Sales Manager for generic paper goods is indeed a spy. Just not a super spy. You see, I recently learned that he was using a one-time subscription free text messaging spy app, because he was doing it with everyone. I can’t judge the guy. The phones are company property. And every company I know monitors their employee’s computer and Internet usage—so why wouldn’t they be doing the same with the iPhones. In fact, I whole-heartedly agree that it’s wiser to so with them than anything else. Why? Read on.

Employees take these phones everywhere and forget that the devices don’t actually belong to them. They use them for work as well as for personal affairs. They text their friends, Instagram their food, upload their vacation pictures to Facebook, and sometimes worse. This is where I get into why you’ll agree.

One of Jim’s sales people was recently caught—by Jim—sexting an underage girl! And he was doing it on his company phone. When Jim found out, he not only fired the employee, but contacted the authorities. Now, I didn’t know that guy all that well, but he seemed okay. Very normal. But man! He’s now being prosecuted for pedophilia and other sex crimes because of what they found on his phone.

A female sales person on my team was let go right after I started working here because she was skipping out on sales calls across the area and going to the spa, the movies, mini-vacations and more—all when she was supposed to be working.

And another employee—this time in a different region of our company—was fired last year for tweeting racial slurs on Twitter and posting disturbing quotes and memes on Facebook.

Every one of these workers was caught with Jim’s one-time subscription free app to read someones text messages. Of course, no one knew at the time that he installed it on all of the devices, but it’s perfectly legal. Thankfully, I never abused my phone. Sure, I send some texts and check my fantasy football stats out from time to time, but I don’t look at porn or download anything on it. I use my own phone for that.


So why am I still okay with Jim spying? Well, think about it. If this was my company and employees under my watch were doing stuff like that, wouldn’t I be mad? These people not only wasted company time and money, but they stole in a way. One was committing a heinous crime and another was going to start a race war. But those aren’t the only reasons that I’m all for it, Yeah, Jim’s been spying on me too, but thanks to my good behavior, I just got a big promotion. So, there.


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